This much I know by Edwyn Collins

Courtesy of the Guardian:
Edwyn Collins, singer, 48, London
Interview Michael Odell
Sunday April 27, 2008



I'm happy that my brain has retained some cherished memories. When you have a stroke you lose quite a lot. I can remember the tin bath that my mum used to bathe me in. I can still see her washing me. I cherish that one.

I was doing a radio interview and I didn't feel well. I woke up in hospital and I was overwhelmed when I realised what had happened. It was eight weeks before I could bear to listen to music. [My wife] Grace brought me a CD compilation I'd made for the car. I listened to Johnnie Allan's 'Promised Land' and I broke down. I was relieved... I could remember it.

As a boy I collected stamps. I had a Penny Black that was my pride and joy. I sold my collection at a Glasgow pawnshop and bought a semi-acoustic guitar. That changed my life.

I was a bit of a letdown to the Collins family. I was expected to be a lawyer, a doctor or an academic. My sister Petra became a judge. They found it hard to fathom my love of punk.

I didn't like macho punk like the Jam or the Clash. Orange Juice camped it up a bit. At our first shows, people would shout 'Poofs! Poofs!' and I took that as a seal of approval.

I used to be an illustrator for the Glasgow Parks Department. I drew chaffinches and squirrels and moorhens for park leaflets. I'd take kids from Glasgow's East End around the nature trail. They'd say, 'Are youse a punk sir?' and I'd say, 'Yes, I'm a nature punk.'

I realised quite early that fashion could piss people off. I remember my granny seeing the Beatles on TV. She said, 'Those boys need a haircut.' It was offensive to her.

We were on Top of the Pops with 'Rip It Up'. The dance troupe was called Ruby Flipper and they did this routine where they mimed ripping up a piece of paper. Afterwards our manager was crying. He said, 'The big moments are never as good as you think they're going to be.'

That speck on the horizon? It could be your ship coming in. I didn't have a major record deal when 'A Girl Like You' was a hit. I lived in a grotty one-bedroom flat. Because I owned the copyright that one song bought me my house.

After my stroke I'd lost all the songs I ever wrote. I could recognise them as mine when I heard them on a stereo but I couldn't remember any lyrics. That took ages, writing them out and relearning all the phrasing.

I had neurosurgery done after the second haemorrhage. They took a section of my skull away and put it in the fridge for six weeks with my name on it. When the swelling went down from the surgery they put it back. But I got MRSA so they had to take it out again. I got a titanium plate instead.

Dysphasia means I struggle to find words. I'm fighting to get language back. I used to have all the beautiful words but they've gone now.

I'm lucky to have survived. I used to share a flat with Grant McLennan of the Go-Betweens. Two years ago he had a heart attack and died. Why didn't he get a second chance and I did?

I'm happy again. I'm contented with life. Now Grace gets more grumpy.

Little things mean a lot now. I bought my uncle Sandy's house in Helmsdale, in Sutherland. It's been in the family since 1802. We don't have a TV there. We sit by the fire and I watch Grace sit like an old lady staring into the flames, sipping her sherry.

Edwyn Collins's new single 'Home Again' is out in late May. His UK tour ends on Tuesday.

Visit Edwyn Collins website.