Ladies & Gentlemen, the Fabulous Stains

Back in the early 80s, I spent several wasted afternoons with Steve V. & Dougie from Kraut laying around & watching a bootleg copy of this never-officially-in-print punk movie classic. Looks like its finally getting a legit release. It stars a very young Diane Lane, and Laura Dern! Also, Steve Jones & Paul Cook from the Sex Pistols, and Paul Simonon from the Clash, as well as Ray Winstone, who has done tons of stuff since but was just coming off the making of Quadrophenia when this was made.

Review by Roy Trakin, thanks to Andy Schwartz:

Ladies and Gentlemen, The Fabulous Stains (Paramount/Rhino Home Video):

This 1981 proto-punk, feminist curio, directed by Lou Adler and produced by none other than Hollywood studio mogul Joe Roth,anticipates the Olympia, WA, riot grrrl phenomenon, from Bikini Kill to Hole, in its tale of the very abrupt rise and fall of a girl group, fronted by skunk-haired, 15-year-old Diane Lane, channeling the Catwoman, Susan Sontag and Courtney Love, along with an impossibly young, 13-year-old Laura Dern.

The film, available for the first time on DVD (it was never released on VHS and was in theatres for a moment), offers an interesting glimpse at punk-rock while it was still almost innocent and idealistic (if it ever was), with a supporting cast that includes veteran character actor Ray Winstone, who most recently appeared in the latest Indiana Jones movie, as a black leather-clad Joe Strummer/Johnny Rotten lead singer fronting The Looters, an all-star band featuring the Sex Pistols’ Steve Jones and Paul Cook and The Clash’s Paul Simonon. The Tubes’ Fee Waybill is terrific as frontman for the Metal Corpses, in frizzy fright wig and makeup—a cross between Gene Simmons and Howard Stern—while bandmate Vince Welnick, who also played in the Dead and with Todd Rundgren, eerily demonstrates art imitating life as he dies onscreen of a drug OD with his platform shoes on, foreshadowing his own suicide in 2006 at the age of 55. Other familiar faces, such as Christine Lahti and David Clennon, who played Zen ad agency boss Miles Trentell in thirtysomething, show up, as do such unlikely players as L.A. punk band Black Randy (John Morris) & the Metro Squad, playing with an Israeli flag draped over their monitors.

The concert sequences with The Looters are pretty dynamic, with Winstone doing a creditable job, while the performances of The Stains recall such female DIY agro pioneers as The Shaggs, X Ray Spex, The Slits and The Raincoats, with Lane strutting her stuff in a stunning turn not unlike Ellen Page’s breakthrough in Juno—but even younger.

Released the same year as MTV launched, the film is prescient about the effect TV, and eventually reality series, will have on breaking bands, as well as the contradiction of exploiting politics for commercial gain. And its radical female viewpoint is most welcome, especially its prediction that women will eventually take to withholding sex, Lysistrata-like, (“Don’t put out!” is their slogan), while dressing provocatively, as a means to an end. This is a period piece that doesn’t necessarily hold up, but still has enough to deserve the attention of true rock cognescenti.

Visit the film website.
More info on IMDB.
Fabulous Stains clips on YouTube.