The Second Annual Stupefaction Gift Guide (2013)

Santa by Walter Steding

Big thanks to Liz Maher for really helping out with this (most of it is hers). 

Not that we expect anyone will actually purchase anything on this list, 

but its incredible to know that if you can think of it, its probably out there!

Bauhaus by Eugene Merinov

Patti Smith by Godlis

The Clash by Kate Simon

Beginning with - own a piece of real rock 'n roll history. Buy an original print photograph directly from a photographer. The list is extensive but any regular readers here might guess that we would start any list of our favorites with Kate Simon, Godlis, or Eugene Merinov. Go ahead, and write to them...they love to sell direct. Prices vary depending on size, etc...Or you could buy a painting, like the one at the top of this post, from the one & only Walter Steding.

Third Man's Bumble Buzz Pedal $325. The pedal is made by Union Tube and Transistor and is based on the chickin’ shack shalin’ pedal they made for Jack to channel Little Willie John's “I'm Shakin'” track on his 2012 solo debut Blunderbuss - no stamped circuits or chips here! A limited edition yellow version designed by Rob Jones is also available for Third Man Records' Platinum Vault members only. Or, if you act fast, you can get Third Man's via Bang Candy Co. limited edition Holiday Libation Marshmallows in Jack & Ginger, Blackcurrant Absinthe and Malted Chocolate Whiskey as well as other confections like Electrified Peppermint Bark and Smoked Spice Orange Syrup to spice up your dark liqueur or drizzle over ice cream. Even the crossroads demon could not resist.

Rickenbacker 660 Ruby guitar $2649 - so important to your beloved pysch-musician.

Step up that $5 glass slide and get your friend a Shubb Axys reversible guitar slide for $29.95 which allows a easy switch from sliding to fretting. Mr. B makes sustainable guitar slides from reclaimed bar-ware. Go for Mr. B's Roughneck Series at $22 for that swamp-thing sound.

$20,000 will buy 5 days at Rough Magic recording studio in Greenpoint, Brooklyn. Package includes full use of Rough Magic's Pro Tools HD equipped studio able to catch 16 tracks of live audio and a suite of instruments and front end gear from API, AKG and Neuman with a house engineer available.

Start the campaign for a Lou Reed stamp, or make your own - $14.99 per sheet or $11.99 for a postcard (minimum order of 100) at Stamps.com.

A cool 3 million will get you J-Lo to sing at least 3 tunes for your giftee, regardless of whether or not she/he is a ruthless, murderous dictator. The Thermals probably charge less.

Everyone loves ugly Christmas sweaters...especially rock band ones. This year Consequence of Sound is featuring, amongst others, Queens of the Stone Age and The Descendants for only $34.99. 

Give the anti-gift! Don’t take someone to Seaworld. Captivity of Orcas in bathtubs is fucked up. Willie Nelson and other bands who may have seen “Blackfish” agree. Spend your money anywhere else and feel good.

Give the gift of soundproofing. Soundproofcow.com sells all the barrier and muffling equipment you'll need to make your studio or house a quieter place. This would be the perfect gift for the people over at Rough Trade.

Rather go for the gift that anticipates New Year’s Eve and Carnival or an Eyes Wide Shut-themed party? Head to Midnight Zodiac at Etsy for one-off shock-horror masks and bustiers that will class up your next Masked Ball/Death Metal Show/‘It works for Us’ mock torture role-play soirée with wearable art.

For the jazz fan in your life, you can't go wrong with ANYTHING from Mosaic Records. Or if that jazz fan happens to reside in New York City, how about a gift certificate for The Jazz Record Center?

If that jazz fan reads a lot, you can't go wrong with the beautiful coffee table book, Verve: The Sound of America, or Stanley Crouch's fantastic biography on Charlie Parker, Kansas City Lightning.

Go high fashion, and encourage your tinnitus, with limited edition Alexander Wang Beats By Dre headphones at $449.

And lastly, bring your old band photos back to life with Lomography's hand sized smartphone scanner ($59) which turns 35mm negatives into quality digital images in the blink of an eye.

And most importantly, 
Stupefaction wishes you joyous (funny spell check turned that into noxious) holidays filled with rocking carols and limited snow.